Robbery !!!!!

When Carl got his car, it came with only one key, one key that looks like a regular key, no buttons, no flashing lights, just a regular key. So I think best we get another one so that we don't get stuck. So I phone up the help line and they tell me the name of my 'Local Main Robber' so I can get them to order one for me.
So I make the call,

Me - ' Hello, do you sell replacement keys for a matiz?'

Robber - (rubbing hands together in anticipation) 'Yes madam we do'

Me - 'What do I need to bring with me to order a new key?'

Robber - (sharp intake of breathe in a 'you don't want to go there madam' sort of way) You need to bring a V5 showing that you are the owner of the vehicle, along with three forms of identification including one with a photo!!!!!!!!

Me- 'Well we don't have the V5 yet, as we have only just bought it'

Robber- 'Well I am sorry we can not ORDER the key without it'

Me -'So once I have collected all the required evidence how long will it take to get the key?'

Robber - ' We aim to turn your request around within 48 hours then you will need to book an hour in the work shops for us to program it. '

Me - 'What does that mean?'

Robber - ' The key has a chip in it and it will need to be programmed to match your vehicle'

Me - (warning bells starting to ring) 'How much is the new key going to cost'?

Robber - ' The keys start at £47 plus £47 for programming plus VAT'

Me - 'What else does this key do then as you seem to not realise I only want it to drive the car not to research a cure for cancer?'

Robber - 'I am sorry madam, do you realise that if you lost your single key that it would mean you would have to be towed to our Establishment where we would have to reprogram the whole electrics in the car and it would cost you a fortune'

This all goes to prove my theory that Main dealers are able to charge exactly what they want and they think they can get away with it!!!

A while ago when we had the engine warning light come up on the Zafira the main dealer who diagnosed its fault glibly told me that to make it roadworthy would mean a spend of £1400 !! We took it to our own garage who changed the cam belt,sorted out the oil leak (a cracked sump plug)Adjusted the bushes on the steering (whatever that means)and checked the brakes for a total of £120!!

I think I am in the wrong business!!!